Listening to God can be hard. When I sit at His feet and read His Word, I know those words are from Him. I have no doubts. But, when I am praying for God to bless me with His wisdom and asking for His direction, it’s not always easy to see beyond my own fleshly eyes into the will of the Father. That scary place is where our family finds itself today.
Sweet friends, I’ve been working on this post for a few weeks now. As you know, it’s been a rough year around our house. I’ve mentioned a few times that we are doing fun, unschooling things this summer and so far it’s been great.
And even though we’ve had a good few weeks, our family has decided to enroll in a local private school for the coming fall semester. This decision has not been made lightly. I have spent months, yes months, praying, losing sleep, more praying and seeking out wisdom concerning this decision.
{And this is where I wonder if I’ve made homeschooling an idol, because this decision has been way too hard for me!!}
Friends, you and I must continually remind ourselves that our hope is CHRIST, not our decisions, our circumstances, what we FEEL. Christ in me is my only hope.
Am I still passionate about homeschooling? Yes.
Do I still believe homeschooling is awesome? Yes.
Do I think I might homeschool again in the future? Yes. Might is the key word. I’ve stopped making long term plans and hope to be more open to God’s voice rather than my convictions moving forward.
But, I’m excited about this new direction as well. You see, sometimes, a mom just needs a break. And sometimes, trying to find peace in the home has to come before goals we set for ourselves many years ago.
I’ve fought and battled my kids a lot this year. My hope is that they will have the opportunity to learn and grow and be responsible to someone else for the coming year. I’m hoping and praying that this change will do us all some good. I would rather my kids go to school and us GET ALONG, than me continue fighting and fighting to get them to do school work or anything, really.
I’m sharing this because, well, what does one do when they are a homeschool blogger and they decide not to homeschool anymore? Or at minimum take a year off?
So, here is what I want you to know…
Homeschooling takes guts. It is the hardest thing I’ve ever done before. Mothering ranks right up there.
But, here’s the thing. Listening to God is hard, too. Having the courage and faith to step AWAY from what we’ve done for 8 years now, that is hard. I’m having to remind myself all over again the educational choices do not make or break a family. I still love a lot of things about homeschooling.
But, God has brought us to this place and I trust Him. I’m stepping out in faith…taking a bit of a turn I didn’t expect…and just praying for the Lord to meet us in our need. Because He is faithful and I know He will!
Thank you for all your prayers and sweet comments on Facebook over the past few months. Truly, this has been unbelievably hard. Part of that is the INFJ in me that carries things too heavily and can’t sleep at night because I just.can’t.stop.thinking.about.it.all. ha!!
As for this blog? It will still be here. 🙂 I want to continue sharing my heart…which is to encourage moms, especially moms struggling with depression. Because I need that encouragement as much as the next person. I won’t be sharing as many fun, hands on learning ideas because I won’t be planning those for us this coming year. But, all my old posts will still be here and I will continue sharing as God leads! Right now I can’t say for sure…it might not be as often, or it might take a different direction…but I’m just trusting God to lead me. This little space is my home away from home, I come here to share my heart, to encourage and be encouraged…I’m not ready to give that up yet.
Lastly, this isn’t a post that I ever thought I would be writing. It’s not for the faint of heart when one has advocated and championed a cause for so many years to then make a different choice. I have already had one person tell me what a disappointment this will be to so many. As a people pleaser, that is hard to swallow, though I know God continues to grow me in this area and it is much needed growth. On the other end of the spectrum, I’ve had several respond with “good for you!” which leaves me to wonder, did you think I was doing horribly as a homeschooler all these years and have finally seen the light? So, I suppose you just CAN’T WIN with me!! LOL!! Will you just please be careful with your words for my heart’s sake? I’ve already lost enough sleep these past few weeks. 🙂 I don’t want to go to bed crying over blog comments…thanks, sweet friends.
Local friends? We are going to be paying for this school choice with the income that I will receive in teaching piano lessons again! I did this several years ago, have a music degree (and teaching degree K-8) but never thought I’d be this excited about it again. I guess God had to bring me to this place – through a very tumultuous few weeks of job hunting – to return me to my first love of music.
So, if you know of anyone that needs a teacher…here is the info, I have 7 summer students signed up so far!! yay!!
