I love sitting in the dark gazing at the lights on Christmas trees. This year we have a new Christmas tree. Our old one was a bit ragged, and so last year after Christmas I got one for 75% off. It looked like a nice one in the box, however when we pulled it out and put it together, we realized it was awfully “bare” looking. Just not very full, you can see straight into the “trunk” of the tree and at first I was a bit disappointed.
However, as I’ve looked at our tree and began to love it, God has shown me a few things about this tree and how much it is like me. A Christmas tree like me?
By looking at the box, this Christmas tree was very pretty! The picture on the front was close to perfect, I’d say. If you were to meet me, you *might* have at one time (maybe years ago)thought that I have it all together too. (though hopefully by now you all know differently!) But, the “picture” I put on the front of myself often looks much different than what you see on the outside. I’m not often willing to brag about my weaknesses or inadequacies.
Honestly, as God has grown me, I have realized that I’d rather you see straight to my “trunk.” I’d rather you see all the holes in me that make me so much less than perfect. If you looked closely enough you’d see many, many holes. You’d see that without His touch, I’m not much to look at.
As I’ve added ornaments, I’ve pondered over the memory that each holds. And, miraculously, as the tree fills up, it begins to look lovely. Not perfect, mind you, but lovely. I can still see a few holes, and I haven’t been able to fill up all the spots of emptiness…but I don’t want to anymore. I want to leave a few holes.
I don’t want to cover all the holes in the tree, and I don’t want to cover all the holes in me. Because when you see the ugliness in me, then, as God adds His ornaments — His love, joy, peace, goodness…His loveliness begins to shine through. When you see what I once was, you know that it is only God who can make anything beautiful out of our lives. It is only Him who can fill the holes in our lives. It is only Him who can fill the emptiness.
Are the ornaments of His grace filling you up? What holes are left that need His touch? This Christmas my decorations may not look perfect, but that is ok…I’m not perfect either. I’m becoming more and more OK with that. I realize that in my weakness He is made strong. And it is His strength and His perfection that I need in my life. It’s all about Him anyway.